For relatives, friends and others close by, there’s nothing more devastating than the tragedy of death. The pain and frustration seem to worsen when death results from a suicide, particularly one who could have lived a fulfilling, talented life.
Tim Kigin, supervising psychologist for the Kyrene School District, said the rare occurrence of an elementary–school student suicide is always a shocking, traumatic incident that affects family, friends, students and staff.
There are, however, prevention strategies that can truly help save a life. “As parents and teachers, we always want to be aware of changes in behavior or appearance,” Kigin said. “Anything from changes in sleeping habits, eating habits or if they are isolating themselves more—those can all point to depression and other issues.”
For kids at young ages, communication is vital between parents, teachers and peers, Kigin said. Having comfort in discussing personal issues is a significant step toward helping elementary students lead healthy lives and cope with depression or other self-destructive methods.
“Don’t be afraid to talk to your kids,” Kigin said.
“If you notice some of those changes in your kids, please don’t be afraid to talk to them.”
Kigin said Kyrene has psychologists on staff trained to help students deal with issues and seek professional help when it’s needed.
“The outcome of any situation could be anything,” he said. “It could be a joke, but we always contact a parent,” he said. “If we have any concerns at all that there are suicidal ideations going on, staff monitors the student closely.”
Students’ peers are often more aware of their friends problems, and Kigin said kids who have concerns about a friend should contact a school official immediately.
“We more often hear from peers, and what we do is follow through immediately. That would include conversation with the school psychologist, an administrator and the student,” Kigin said.
If a child is experiencing suicidal thoughts, whether in connection with bullying at school, home issues or other psychological issues, contacting a professional therapist or psychiatrist should always be of the utmost priority.
“The key is not being afraid to consult with a professional or a school staff member or psychologist,” Kigin said. “Don’t wait until something tragic happens, or until you see changes taking place.”
As far suicides are concerned, each incident is a separate case, and it’s hard to tell what a person’s reasons might have been.
“Each person has their own motivation to commit the act, anything from wanting to make a statement or this is just the place that’s isolated enough,” he said. “It would be unwise to make a general statement about what it means.”
For help in dealing with the grieving process of a family member’s or friend’s death, help is available at www.naspoline.org/resources/principals/nasp_griefparents.pdf .
For tips on talking to kids about suicide, visit www.ag.ndsu.edu/pubs/yf/famsci/fs637w.htm . A “Teen Lifeline” offering 24-hour crisis support is also available for teenagers by calling 602-248-8336.
Counselors and school psychologists are also available at school if you or your children need additional assistance.
A message to our readers
Although his identity is now widely known, Wrangler News has elected not to publish the name of the 13-year-old who took his life in a park recently near Aprende Middle School.
The parents made their son’s name available shortly after the tragedy occurred, and it has appeared widely in media coverage since then.
Our decision, therefore, is based not on the specifics of this particular case but on what we recognize may be an outmoded view of the media’s responsibilities—or, more to the point, our responsibilities.
For as far back as we can remember, the names of suicide victims went unpublished unless the individual was a public figure. In one Southern California city I covered as a young reporter, the city manager’s two sons came home from school to find their father dead in the garage, and understandably it made headlines.
As for those with lesser public identities, the no-name policy generally was shared by news media around the country. It seemed to respect the privacy of families dealing with their moment of heartbreak without the added glare of media-generated attention.
Somehow the humanity of that seemed right to me, and it has been a policy I’ve stuck with for many years now.
That’s why, in an accompanying article that outlines the Kyrene School District’s efforts to deal with what appears to be a significant—and alarming—increase in teen suicides nationwide, the name of the local boy is not mentioned.
It’s a small matter, but one that we think represents a more civilized response to the sadness parents must face at such an awful time in their lives.
Final note: We hope you’ll take time to review the suggestions that have been provided by the Kyrene District’s psychologists, and that you’ll share them with parents you know who have teenagers at home.
If just one young life is saved as a result, it will have been worth the effort.
— Don Kirkland
